Susan Lucci is sharing her experience with grief.
The soap actress, 79, opened up about enduring her husband Helmut Huber’s death nearly four years ago in an interview with People published Wednesday.
“The minute I fell in love like I did with my husband, I knew how vulnerable I was,” Lucci said while promoting her new book “La Lucci” (out Feb. 3), where she also reflects on Huber suffering a fatal stroke at age 84 in March 2022.
“I was completely lost. And it’s so isolating,” she recalled about the aftermath of the tragedy. “You feel so alone, even though I had the most wonderful friend … I am so grateful for the people who stood by me.”
When asked what she misses most about Huber, whom she was married to for 52 years, Lucci replied, “Everything.”
“It’s hard to say one thing. I just miss him, miss his presence, miss sharing things together, like coffee in the morning,” she added.
The “All My Children” alum also explained how she’s continuing to get through the low moments of her grieving journey.
“I don’t fight it,” she stated. “I’m surprised sometimes by it. Certainly there are things like the holidays that are triggers — someone who should be sitting at the table. But I just go with it.”
The couple met at Red Salt Room restaurant at Long Island’s Garden City Hotel in the ’60s when Lucci was a waitress and Huber was the executive chef.
Lucci was 22 years old when she married Huber in September 1969 after just eight months of dating. They had two children together, daughter Liza, 50, and son Andreas, 45.
According to People, Lucci described Huber in her book as a “classically trained chef” with a “great sense of humor” who called her “Susie.” She also noted his love for driving fast, skiing, golfing and cooking her European comfort food.
The Daytime Emmy Award winner told the outlet that her writing process for “La Lucci” began “in the middle of the night.”
“I keep a pen and paper next to my side of the bed in case I get an idea or in case I have to write something down so I don’t keep rolling it around and memorizing it, so I could sleep,” she explained. “And in this case, I started waking up and things just started pouring out of me.”
But making the book wasn’t easy for Lucci, who admitted she “felt like half a person” during her healing process.
“I could hardly remember that I was an actress. It didn’t mean anything to me,” she told People. “I thought, ‘Do I do that? Really?’ I thought at that time I probably will never go in front of a camera or go on stage again.”
But now, as she reportedly wrote in her book, Lucci is “looking for joy again,” which she said comes from working, traveling, and spending time with her friends and family, including her grandchildren.
“La Lucci” is available for preorder now and will be released by Blackstone Publishing on Feb. 3.
